Sorry that I don't "put out" on the first encounter

Remember my first Tinder meet up? “V.”

Let’s just call him… Victor.

Well, I didn’t tell you the first encounter that he suggested we head back to his place. I shot it down, laughing as I told him it’s too early.


We then continued to text and he spent a week in the hospital. During his one week stay, he was begging me to come visit him but I have my reasons not to visit him (aside from being a cold bitch). He wanted me to stop by (he had his own room) so we can “get it on in the hospital” because he’s never had that encounter before.

After the hospital trip, he’s been messaging me to come visit him at his place. Bring food to his place, stop by his place, etc. etc. I eventually told him I’m not interested in sex right now, and I’d rather us be friends and see where that goes. He agrees with just being friends.

Here’s the bullshit part.

As ‘friends’, I wanted to hang out like catching a movie, get some food, etc.
But Victor would never agree to it, but at the same time, he won’t deny it. He’ll reply back with “Hmmmm…..


The moment I hint that I’m down to hang out (regardless if it’s at his place or not), he acts like a total gentleman and gets hyped up about it.

I recently moved and it ended up being only 10 minutes away from his place. He used that as an incentive to try to get me to hang out with him (I was a bit hesitant from all his innuendo texts) but agreed to hang out a few nights ago.

That night, he ended up double booking (we agreed to meet at 7 but he had a dinner with his friends at 8). The restaurant was 10 minutes away from my place so he denied my suggestion to reschedule (REALLY?!) and pushed our meet up to 9:45PM. I agreed and told him to meet at the Starbucks just a few streets up (also because I wanted a latte). I joked about him being on time this time around.

I ordered my latte and looked out the window just in time to see him coming. It was exactly at 9:45PM. We walked around the neighbourhood, and because I didn’t grow up around this neighbourhood, he showed me around.

I’m not a gold digger, but he might be the cheapest guy I know.
Oh yeah, a funny bit. While I was energized, he was “tired” and suggested we take public transit. I told him, “What?! Why’d you come out if you’re so tired already?” Again, no response.

Anyways, we stopped by a fast food joint because I wanted fries. There, he told me that I remind him of his cousin. The way I talk, the way I act, the way I pronounce things… umm… I’m sorry, but if you want someone to sleep with you, you shouldn’t compare them to your cousin.

To make things even MORE disgusting and to back up my assumption that he’s in it for sex, he left his birthday dinner, EARLIER just to head home and then to the Starbucks. The Starbucks is about 10 minutes away from the restaurant, AND it’s up the street – which is why I suggested that particular location. To see him come from the opposite direction made me think – wtf, the restaurant down THAT way, why are you coming from THAT way?!

I asked him why he went home first and he couldn’t say it. To me, I think he went home to “get ready” for sexy time. Seriously, how pathetic is that?! To leave your friend’s birthday dinner earlier just to go home, get ready and then come back down to meet me. It turns out his friends didn’t even know why he left – which indicated that he probably lied and came up with an excuse.

I swear, he had sex on his mind the entire night.

When I suggested we call it a night, he asked if I wanted to come over and “watch a documentary”. And when I deny the invitation, he asked if I wanted to do other things… nearby his house. Conviently, nearby his house.

To make it all awkward, he tells me: “I mean, I don’t want you to walk back home by yourself… but I need to grab my bike”.

And the bike was located at the Starbucks 5 minutes away from my place.

So, I walked him to his bike… and I ended up walking home alone (which wasn’t a big deal).

Oh yeah, and somewhere during our short hangout session, he said, “Well, if you’re down to come over, I’ll just leave the bike here and grab it tomorrow morning.”

As in, he thinks I’m gonna sleep over.


So, long story short: I didn’t put out and now he’s ignoring me.


Well, geez, soooooooooooooooorry.

I mean, I get that some people use Tinder as a hook up app, but I made it clear that I wasn’t into a hook up, so why keep on trying? If you’re not cool with being friends, then just tell me so you don’t waste my time AND you can find someone to hook up with you.


8 thoughts on “Sorry that I don't "put out" on the first encounter

  1. Ugh, guys can be such douchebags! I sincerely hope you find someone who isn't a total creep or only in it for sex because you definitely deserve better. Good on you for staying true to yourself and not putting out; you'll be thankful in the long-run. Also, I have to mention the cousin comment, what was he thinking!?


  2. I'm so glad my instincts told me not to sleep with this guy, because I really can't imagine how he'll treat me after! I don't even know what was going on in his mind when he told me that. Literally, it was just 5 minutes of awkwardness when he's comparing me to his cousin. I think things went down hill from there, haha.


  3. Goodness, males annoy me >.< Guys (especially Tinder guys) can be scumbags/sleazy. I've met four of them now and three of them have been lovely but there really was one guy who was doing his best to get me on his dick >.< Nooooo.


  4. There must be something good about New Zealand boys 😉 haha, I'm planning to meet up with my second Tinder guy but I'm a bit iffy about how he prioritizes me because he can easily stop talking to me for weeks and then out of nowhere, ask to arrange our first meet up… which makes me very suspicious, lol. Or maybe I'm just overanalizing stuff..


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